


Safety First ( Wade Wilson / Reader )

by orphan_account



Category: Deadpool (2016), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (slightly anyway), BDSM, Deadpool - Freeform, Established Relationship, F/M, French Maid!Deadpool, Implied Sexual Content, Major Character X Reader, Pre-Established Relationship, Reader Insert, Reader-Insert, Safewords, Submissive Deadpool, There's actually no sex featured in this, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall, character x reader, implied BDSM, implied sex, just a dongle flowing freely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 18:18:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6250372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and your boyfriend, Wade, are preparing for kinky, kinky, sexy times, but first you must prepare by picking out a safeword.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safety First ( Wade Wilson / Reader )

"Wade?"

"Yeah, babe?"

You entered your shared bedroom, slowly untying the knot you had created to keep your fuzzy bathrobe up, and looking into the doorway of the bathroom.

"We need a safeword." you answered, dropping the robe at your feet.

"We can just use the one from last time," your boyfriend of two years, Wade Wilson had replied, turning on the faucet.

"I can't remember what that one was." you frowned, looking down at your sexy and lacy, black underwear.

"Shit." Wade hissed muffledly, poking his head out from the doorway briefly, making you giggle as you noticed the foam at his mouth. He was brushing his teeth. "I can't either."

"Well, then we'll make a new one," you sighed and walked to the nightstand, opening it and removing your black stockings.

You pulled your leg onto the bed, taking the stocking over your toes and slowly rolling it up your leg, switching your glance from between the bathroom and your thigh. You heard repeated spitting.

"How about Francis?" he asked, very honestly before turning off the faucet and emerging from the bathroom, as he held a teeny, tiny, frenchmaid costume over his seemingly naked form. "You think this is good? 'Cuz it looks too long to me."

"We are not making the safeword the name of someone you killed." you answered, a small glare flickering across your face. "It'll get shorter when you wear it. It'll be fine, Wade."

"Oh, alright," he bobbed his head in reluctant agreement, rolling his eyes as he walked back in the bathroom. "Then what do you suggest?"

"I don't know." you shrugged, switching legs and slowly pulling on the other stocking.

"Banana?" Wade called, flinging his underwear out of the bathroom and onto the bed.

"It sounds like you're asking for a banana to be inserted." you laughed, pulling his boxers off of the bed and walking to the closet.

"Oh, oh, _chimichanga!_ " he shouted, eager. "Babe, what about chimichanga?"

"Wade, we are not naming the safeword after your favourite food!" you laughed again, reaching upwards and pulling down a large plastic bin. "Nor your second favourite."

"So, what you're saying is," he said, poking his head out of the bathroom door again. "Pussy is out of the question?"

"Yes, Wade."

"Damn.. Ass too?"

" _Fine,_ " he whined, emerging from the bathroom as you placed the bin on the bed. "(F/n), does this make my ass look fat?"

You glanced upwards as you opened the bin, smiling at your boyfriend in the maid costume.  
You grinned wider as you notice the dress barely passed his hipbone, the intense ruffles making it even shorter. Looking lower, and seeing his cock dangling a little ways past the dressline, you raised a brow.

"No, babe." you watched him turn, noticing the dress was even shorter at the back, and you could see the bottom of his ass creeping out. "Your ass is just the perfect size."

"Really?" he asked, his tone sounding somewhat like an eager schoolgirl as he turned again. "No Nicki Manaj going on back there?"

"No, Wade," you snorted, noticing the maid's ruffle hat atop his head as well. You looked down into the bin, the gorgeous array of sex toys beneath you, now reaching in and pulling out a long string of beads. Anal beads, what else?

"Okay, good, but back to the safeword discussion," Wade sighed in relief, approaching with shuffling feet as he reached into the bin and pulled out a leather collar. "How about Hugh?"

"If this is referring to the time you woke me up by stapling an image of Hugh Jackman to your face and calling me 'bub', the answer is no." you rolled your eyes, tossing the beads on the bed and grabbing at the ballgag in the box.

"Aw c'mon, babe, that was fucking funny," he insisted, undoing the collar and putting it around his neck, then refastening it. "That little shriek you gave was real cute."

"Oh fuck you, Wade." you tried to sound mean, but instead you chuckled out.

"Isn't that what you're going to do?" he pointed at you, raising a brow before reaching in the bin as well.

"Point taken. But _again_ , safewords, Wade." you sighed and dropped the gag. "Unicorn, maybe?"

"Oh, no, that'll just make me hornier," Wade shook his head, pulling out a silver, ridged buttplug. "Did I ever tell you that this reminds me of Colossus?"

You watched him grasping the buttplug tightly, and furrowed your brows before taking it from his hands and tossing it back in the bin. "Remind me to throw it away."

"We're sidetracking, babe!" he shouted, turning and pacing to the other side of the room and then returning. "What about _'no'_."

"Wade, be serious." you tried not to laugh, pulling out a dildo in one hand and a vibrator in the other.

"I am!"

"Wade, another safeword," you shook your head, pushing your thumb on the switch and being slightly surprised by how aggressively the vibrator buzzed.

"Wheels." he wiggled his brows at the vibrator in your hand.

"Wheels?" you furrowed your brows, clearly confused as you turned off the vibrator, putting it on the bed.

"Yes. What kills the mood more than thinking about X's wrinkly, old ass?" he assured, reaching in the box and grabbing at a nipple clamp.

"We're looking for a word to pause, not a word to kill the mood," you rolled your eyes, grabbing a white bottle and squishing it a little before setting it down on the bed. "If we truly wanted to kill the mood, you would shout _Subway, eat fresh_ again."

"Point taken," he sighed, pinching at you with the clamp while you batted his hands away. "You suggest something."

"Something simple." you sighed, shakimg your head. "What about lamp'?"

"Why lamp?" Wade furrowed his brows as he dropped the clasp, pulling out a strap-on as well as a pair of long, leather gloves.

"I was looking at the lamp," you shrugged, taking the gloves and squeezing them on with great effort.

"Boring!" he protested, waving the strap-on at you.

"Fine, what about 'red'?" you sighed, making sure the gloves were on perfectly before snatching the rubber cock from him.

"Red. Like the blood of my enemies-"

"No, no, no," you waved your hand and undid the harnessing, pulling the first belt around your hips and clipping it back. "We aren't using red."

"You suggested it," he started to defend, grabbing the riding crop and smacking it in his hand.

"And you ruined it." you snorted, reaching between your legs and grabbed the last little clip, pulling it behind you and securing the strap-on onto you. "And how do I look?"

Wade clicked his tongue and gave a thumbs up, wiggling his brows again and walking towards you.

"Just like I like my women. With a purple, rubber cock on them. By the way, what are we watching for the Aftercare?"

You let out a loud snort, grabbing at the riding crop and pulling him against you, or at least as much as the dildo attached to your front would let him be.

"Well, good. And we're watching _Inside Out_." you purred, pulling your other hand to his cheek and stroking it across the roughness of his skin, leaning up and pressing a kiss on his lips.

"You heartless bitch." he said quietly, but with a grin as you felt his hand grasp at your ass, pulling you closer and giving a tiny grunt as the strap-on pressed at his stomach.

"You know it." you sighed, your faces close together. "Wade, we have to make a safeword before things get kinky."

"How is this kinky? It's just a kiss and an ass grab," he squeezed at your ass, brow raising as he dropped the riding crop down. "Baaaabe. We have _lift off_."

You raised a brow, then realized what he meant as you felt his erection slowly pressing at your legs.

"Alright, alright, alright, give me a safe word and we can get ready," you whined now, reaching around and removing his hand.

"Hot pocket! Reynolds!" he quickly shouted as you turned, grabbing the thick, black leash from the bin and walking behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist while his length pressed against your behind. "McAvoy? Patriotism! Throw me a bone here, (F/n), pick one, please, please, please-"

"Ajax, Wade, what about Ajax?" you couldn't help but snicker, wiggling your ass against him as he groaned.

"Why a soap brand?" he whined, confused.

"You and I both know why, you'd only say it if you absolutely had to."

There was a pause, a noticeable one at that. You turned, still pressed against him and reached upwards, beginning to attach the leash to his collar.

" _Fiiiine_ ," he grumbled, hands sliding to your ass agaim as you connected the leash to him.

"So it's agreed? Ajax is the safeword." you asked for confirmation.

"Yes."

"Good then." you smirked, holding the handle of the leash and then reaching towards the white bottle you'd held earlier, raising it between the two of you.

"Now," you started, glancing between him, and the bottle of lubricant. "Shall I do it, or will you?"

His lips curved to a smirk, leaning his face closer to yours as he reached around the bottle and stroked his fingers across yours delicately.

"How about together?" he asked, raising a single brow again.

"Sounds like a plan, Wrinkles."

-/-/-

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank my friend @DixonVixon for her helpful suggestions for safewords. Y'all should check out her Ao3 & dA :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fic!


End file.
